10 Great Ways (plus a few others) to Inflict PAIN on Robbie Williams

1) Acid - Always Pleasant
2) Rusty pen knife through the guts. Lets just hope Robbie has had his tetnas jab
3) Chainsaws - A bit too good for Robbie but fun nontheless
4) Pliers - Tooth extraction a must for Mr. Williams
5) Explosives - Just small ones, enough to remove a limb or three
6) Air Rifle - Fill him full of lead pellets, watch him squeal
7) Tie him between two cars and drive off in separate directions
8) Glue his face to the side of a plane then take off
9) Blow Torch to vital areas
10) Get Lisa Riley to shag him
11) Launch Robbie from a clay pigeon launcher in front of a bunch of jeering yokels
12) Dress Robbie as a sheep with foot and mouth disease and wait 'till he gets slaughtered and burnt
13) Feed the well groomed Robbie with his favourite Head & Shoulders "snack" for two weeks
14) Send him to one of Barrymore's special pool parties
15) Make Robbie's dreams come true by giving him the role of James Bond. Sadly an on set accident with a jet ski propellor and his head insues
16) Put his head in the fridge door and slam it a few times (5000 minimum)
17) Castrate him with a rusty scyth
18) Beat him to death with a teddy
19) Starve some hens for quite a while (say a month) then throw Robbie in, watch the hens peck the prick to death
20) Slit his throat with a piece of paper
21) Cool Robbie down, with liquid nitrogen
22) Tie him to the back of a car by his finger tips then drive off
23) Get Robbie to check closely what you're cooking then shove him in with it
24) Get to work on his knees with an angle grinder
25) Repair the crack in Robbie's arse with a welding rig